Show, Don't Tell
No fooling. This is serious. Don't TELL the readers what is
happening or what the character is feeling, SHOW them.
Bad example: |
|
Good example: |
Blair really felt terrible
about lying to Jim. |
|
Oh, God. Blair put his head
in his hands, tears stinging his eyes. How could he have lied to
Jim? |
Bad example: |
|
Good example: |
Jim was so angry that Blair
was afraid. |
|
Jim grabbed the front of
Blair's shirt and slammed him into the wall. Blair fought to breathe,
his heart hammering. |
Draw the readers in, make them a part of what is happening. Try to
avoid "While you were gone" summaries of scenes you should
have shown. Don't tell them, "Earlier that day, Blair had gone
to the university and run into Suspect J. Student, who had said something
incriminating that Blair now waited anxiously to tell Jim." SHOW
the scene at the university, show Blair's conversation with Suspect
and his subsequent anxiety. Get them involved, give it dramatic impact,
show them What's Happening Now.
|
 |