Click here to read fiction by Susan L. Williams. Click here to learn more about Spider Web Press. Click here to go to The Teddy Lady. Click here for lessons from Holy Mother Grammatica.
<-Dialogue  

Names, Pronouns, and Descriptive Phrases

As with "said," names are perfectly acceptable words. They are useful, as they allow the readers to know whom you are talking about. It is not necessary to find new and wonderful descriptive phrases to identify your characters at every turn. Generally, their names do the job.

Pronouns can be confusing, especially if everyone you are talking about is of the same gender. If the pronouns are not enough, use the characters' names to identify them. If the sentence is still confusing, rewrite it. If this is not possible, then try a short descriptive phrase, but only as a last resort. The rule is clarity above all else. If the readers can follow the action, you are doing your job as a writer.

Bad Example:   Good Example:

He grabbed his arm and slapped him. He struggled to raise his bound hands.

Lash grabbed Blair's arm and slapped him. Blair struggled to raise his bound hands.


Bad Example:   Good Example (Lash's POV):

He grabbed his arm, lifted his hand, and slapped him

Lash grabbed Blair's arm, lifted his hand, and slapped the struggling man.

    Good Example (Blair's POV)
Lifting his hand, Lash grabbed Blair's arm and slapped him.

Bad Example:   Silly Example:

He grabbed his arm and slapped him. Lifting his hair away from his neck, he gagged him.

Lash grabbed Blair's arm and slapped him. Lifting Blair's hair away from Blair's neck, Lash gagged Blair.

Good Example (Lash's POV):   Good Example (Blair's POV):
Lash grabbed Blair's arm and slapped him. Lifting the brown curls away from Blair's neck, he gagged the struggling man. Lash grabbed Blair's arm and slapped him. Lifting the hair away from Blair's neck, Lash gagged him.

Why are the first examples from Lash's point of view? Because Blair would not think of himself as "the struggling man," now, would he?

Plot

Exposition

Show Don't Tell

Continuity

Point of View

Tense Persons

Dialogue

Names, Pronouns, Descriptive Phrases

Fragments

Spelling

Plurals, Numbers, and Apostrophes

Punctuation

Common Errors

Resources

Favorite Bloopers

Contact HMG

  <-Dialogue
Fragments->